Please Just One More Time
by shoppinglegends
Summary: Ste has just come back from Disneyland. Brendan wants a final chance. Will Ste give it to him? Long term. Rating might change in later episodes!
1. Chapter 1

This is my first Stendan fanfic and it takes place right after Ste comes back from Disneyland with his kids. I am ignoring the whole Brendan Warren storyline and I am ignoring the fact that Declan is here. Some of the quotes have been taken from the actual Hollyoaks show.  
>Mostly angst and less fluffy stuff but hope you enjoy!<p>

Very very short first chapter just to get everything going. Please review and tell me what you think!

Disclaimer : I do not own any of the characters in this story.  
>~<p>

Chapter 1

Ste's foot landed with a thud as he stepped out of the bus and back into Hollyoaks. He had only been gone for 2 weeks, but 2 weeks was a lot of time. A lot of time to think about his life, the past and where he was headed, the many mistakes he has made and of course the one big mistake he had continuously given into over and over again that took him quite a while to accept and move on from. Brendan.

Ste was snapped out from his thoughts by the shouts and sight of a little girl and boy 'Mummy!' they squealed as they made a dash towards Amy. Ste smiled and widening his grin he picked up the luggage and walked over to Amy giving her a peck on the cheek and a hug.  
>'Oh I've missed you Ste - Its been so quiet all alone'<br>'I've missed you too, the kids were so excited to see you, weren't yah?' Ste said directing his attention to the kids thinking to himself - It was good to be back home. Back with people he knew and people he trusted.

'Chez! Breakfast's ready! Hurry up and get out here before its cold!'  
>Declan had gone home a few days ago after being here for a couple days and to be honest Brendan had gotten pretty used to living with him and had gotten used to him being a vegetarian and adapting to his needs.<br>Chez shuffled in, rubbing her eyes, her hair sticking up in random directions, still dressed in her pajamas. 'Alright Bren?'

'Yeah yeah' Brendan replied 'I have to go to work for a bit, sort some things out. You alright on your own?'

'Yeah I'll see you later' Cheryl said without looking up, as she sat down at the table eyeing the food.

'Hmm' Brendan grunted 'I'll see you later then' walking out the door, not forgetting to grab a piece of toast on the way out, gulping it done in a bite. Today's going to be a good day he thought to himself. Any day is a good day to be Brendan Brady.

Brendan strode across the street when he bumped into some guy.

'Oi watch it' they said before sulking off. This had caught the attention of several bystanders and as you look up you caught the eye of one.

Steven.

Brendan kept his gaze which quickly turned into a stare. Ste looked...good. Happy. Although the smile that was on his face before had quickly turned into a smirk.

Sniffing, Brendan stalked over to Ste, only stopping when their faces were inches away.  
>'Florida's done you good I see, gone for the tanned look. Good holiday? Yeah? Good good. I'll see you at work later then.' Brendan walked off before Ste could even get a word in. <p>


	2. Chapter 2

Review please! Sorry I know these are quite short chapters. I'm hoping to write longer ones as the story develops. Suggestions as to where you would like the story to go are welcome!

Chapter 2

Ste didn't really know how to react. He had weeks to think of how he would react when he saw Brendan again. But who's he kidding. You can't plan out your feelings. You can't decide how you're going to feel at a certain moment in the future.  
>Ste's mouth slightly open in shock watched Brendan walk off. So much for a welcome back. But then again that was probably the best Brendan Brady would ever give anyone.<br>Shrugging off any more thoughts he hurried back towards Amy and the kids.  
>~<p>

Brendan paced around checking his watch every now and then.  
>'You're late' he said as Ste ran up the stairs.<br>'Sorry had to help Amy get the kids to bed, they were too excited from the holiday.' a panting Ste replied.  
>'Hmmph' Brendan huffed and stormed into the office slamming the door behind him.<p>

Typical Brendan Brady, Ste thought. Although not much of this matters anymore. Brendan does not matter to him therefore he cannot affect him. Ste got about to emptying the crates and getting the bar stocked ready for the club to open in a few hours.

~  
>ChezChez was fully packed tonight and the music was pumping loudly and was doing Ste's head in. 2 weeks of being outdoors and in the fresh air and just having fun with the kids switched for music played overly loud was a huge adjustment. He didn't feel so well...<br>Brendan had seen Ste looking a bit stressed all night, eyeing him out the corner of his eye. No matter how much Brendan refused to admit it or show it, at the end of the day Steven meant something to him. He turned his attention fully to Ste and walked over.

'You alright mate? You don't look too good?'  
>'Yeah I'm fine.' Ste said 'The music's just doing me head in' busily trying to sort out the drinks.<br>'How about I buy you a drink?'  
>Ste looked up to see a 20-something year old well built gorgeous looking guy smiling at him. He had that model look, that almost perfect look.<br>'I'm James...So how about a drink?'  
>Ste smiled. 'I can't I'm working' he said with a hint of disappointment in his voice.<br>'Oh...'  
>Just as James was turning around to leave Ste grabbed his hand and screamed across the bar with a cheeky grin.<br>'But I'll give you my number and we can go out some other time yeah?'  
>'Yeah.' James replied handing over his phone.<br>Ste punched in his number and handed it back to James but before James could leave he was blocked.

'Well well what have we got here then?'  
>James turned around to see a 6 foot Irish man with a tasche in a suit.<br>'Steven I pay you to work not to socialise.  
>'I am.' Ste replied, his face obviously revealing he was annoyed and walked off to the other side of the bar.<br>'Ey not so fast you.' Brendan got hold of James as he tried to sneak off. What was so funny eh? Pointing to Ste and back to James.  
>'Nothing he just gave me his number, chill out mate.' James said shrugging off Brendan's hand which had relaxed and walked off.<p>

Hmm Brendan thought to himself. This was happening all over again. This time right in front of his face. Steven was getting himself another boyfriend. Or at least a potential one. He didn't see Noah coming last time, heck he was even in Hollyoaks so he couldn't stop it any earlier. But this time he could. He could stop it. It was almost an invitation from the skies for him to stop it. At the end of the day, Steven was his. Brendan had to act fast or he might loose the one the that really truly mattered to him here.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The sound of a text being received on his phone woke Ste up. Lifting his hands to rub his eyes he fought against the heaviness of his body to get up. Yesterday had been a long day and he was all worn out. Glancing at the clock it was already 12pm. Half the day was nearly gone. Reaching over to his bedside table he grabbed his phone and flipping it up read the message.

'Hey so how about that drink? James'

A smile creeped on Ste's face. Well today would be a pretty good day. He didn't have work later on in the evening so might as well have the drink with James. He was cute. Seems almost too gorgeous looking to be single.  
>Having texted back he stuffed his phone into his sweatpants and got up to go to the kitchen. Amy had already taken the kids to school and she was at work herself so Ste helped himself getting some breakfast before going out to get some fresh air.<p>

'So what have you got planned for your day off?' Cheryl asked Brendan as he walked down the stairs grabbing some toast before making his way out of the flat.  
>'Nothing much just you know' Brendan replied before walking out slamming the door behind.<p>

Ste walked to the cafe planning to just grab a cuppa and enjoy some of the sunshine. Summer was nearly over and he loved the summer weather. Sunny but not too hot as the breeze was just the right amount of cold.  
>Grabbing his order and sitting down outside, he closed his eyes turning his face to the sun to soak it all in.<br>When he felt someone step in front of him blocking the sun out. Raising his hand to his eyes he opened them slightly.  
>'What ye doing? You in me way...' Ste said.<br>Walking to the side of the table Brendan sat down opposite Ste.  
>'So who was the guy last night? Your friend? Your boyfriend?' Brendan questioned with his usual slight twitches.<br>'No he was just someone I met last night. Whats with all the questions?'  
>'Nothing just being nice, making small talk' Brendan quickly replied.<p>

There was an awkward silence. They hadn't really talked ever since Ste had got back. Ever since Ste had said they were over because Brendan didn't have the guts to come with him to Disneyland. Because Brendan had refused to accept they were a couple. Because Brendan had said he loved Ste but then broke all his promises within an hour. Just because Brendan couldn't give Ste the one thing he wanted. A relationship.

'Well I'm off' Ste said as he got up and started walking off.  
>'Wait...' Brendan said running up to catch up with Ste.<br>Ste stopped and looked at Brendan. 'What?' He said with a certain definite tone.  
>Shifting nervously Brendan looked at Ste.<br>'Please...' was all that came out from Brendan as he tried to reach his hand up to Ste's face to which Ste quickly counteracted and pushed it away from him.  
>'Brendan I know what you're trying to do. You're just trying to get a rise from me and you've messed with me enough times. Just stop it. Please just stop.' Ste said sighing.<br>'I've had time to think over the holiday. And I want better for my family, my kids. I want better for me. I deserve better. I deserve better than you.' Ste shot at Brendan before brushing past Brendan.  
>'Just let me explain!' Brendan shouted after Ste. 'Let me explain!' Brendan shouted again when the first had failed to stop Steven.<br>Ste turned around. 'Explain what? We've got nothing to talk about! We've in a circle. This keeps happening. I've heard all the lies and promises you have made to convince me. I've fell for it every single time. But I've decided, I've thought it through this time. There will never be a chance for us! MAYBE WE'RE JUST NOT MEANT TO BE!'

Ste expected Brendan to look around paranoid that someone had heard. But Brendan's gaze was still fixed on Ste's.  
>Brendan got up close to Ste. Please just please let me explain. We can sort all this out. I can fix this. Let me fix this. Brendan had whispered.<br>You can't do this to yourself again. Ste thought to himself. You can't let Brendan Brady get into you head and leave you vulnerable and broken. But as usual Brendan had this strange thing about him that made Ste almost addicted to him. Brendan was the drug.  
>'5 minutes' Ste said. 'That's all you get. 5 minutes.'<br>Brendan smiled inside that at least Steven had given him a chance. Now he just had 5 minutes to convince Ste to take back the man that had broken him so badly.


	4. Chapter 4

***This didn't really turn out how I wanted it to and way shorter than I planned but I'm slightly lost as to where I'm taking this story now but we'll see where it goes!***

CHAPTER 4

Five minutes. That didn't seem like a lot of time. But Brendan knew these five minutes could make or break him. Literally.

Shuffling back and forth Brendan had his hands in his pockets and kept a strong gaze at the ground, occasionally starting to look up as if he had something to say before defeating his feelings and looking back down.

_'I was serious you only get 5 minutes and I thought you said you wanted to talk? I should've guessed this was just a waste of time'_ Ste spat out clearly losing his patience and started turning to walk off.

_'Wait Steven just wait!'_ Brendan called out. Closing his eyes and trying to shake off any sarcastic remarks, Brendan stalked over to Ste until he was just inches away from his face.  
>It was a way for Brendan to intimidate people, show them whose boss but Ste didn't move - the determined look remained on his face.<p>

_'You know why I did what I did. She would have taken the kids away from me. How could you ask me to choose between you and my kids?'_Brendan said in a low growl.

_'Are you being serious? Don't you dare turn this round on me. Don't you dare make yourself seem like the victim.'_

_'I'm not' _Brendan quickly butt in, grimacing at the fact he was losing Steven even quicker than he anticipated. If he didn't watch what he said he would lose Steven for real this time. True Steven had said they were done and he wasn't going to put up with Brendan anymore. But every time Brendan had managed to do something good that would suck Ste back in. But Brendan felt he had given it all. He had said those three little words what more could he do?

'_Declan is just a kid. Think about him Steven. I couldn't just spring it on him that I'm going to Disneyworld with you. There would be questions. He would have be confused. He needs a strong dad to set an example. I can't be...'_

_'What? GAY? Because thats what you are Brendan! How can we be together if you can't even admit the most basic thing to YOURSELF of all people! I can't believe you're using Declan to try and get out of this. He's not the problem! You are! You always have been. And as long as you don't fix you there will never be an us. You don't know what you want!'_

_'Steven! Why do I have to be gay? Why do I have to admit we're in a relationship? Why can't we just be together, why can't you just know I love you and would do anything for you and just leave it at that? Why do we have to use all these words to label what we have?' __'I'm not..I'm not ready for a relationship. I need time! '_ Brendan struggled with difficulty to speak those words, fidgeting uncomfortably at the idea of being in a relationship with another man.

_'I need you, I want you' _Shaking with desperation, Brendan reached a hand up to Ste's face barely touching it. 'Pleeeasseee...' He managed to whisper.

'_You don't want me. You just want the idea of having me, because you can't. Because you're killing a part of yourself everytime you're with me. Everytime you hit me. Everytime you manage to admit you might have some feelings for me. Some actual normal human feelings.'_ Steven said - brushing away Brendan's hand visciously.

Overtaken by a sudden rush of urgency Brendan whispered _'But __I promise I promise...I'll do anything, anything you want. You know I love you.'_

_'Wow Brendan again with the lies, its getting old now because I know you will never change because you won't, how can you change for me when you can't even change for yourself? You know, before, I was so scared of you. When you lifted your hand up I would flinch, I would have nightmares of you hitting me, flashes of what you've done before, what you're capable of. I asked myself this a lot over the past two weeks. Why would anyone in their right mind what to be with a psychopath like you that made me feel the way I did about myself? Do you know what you made me feel like? Worthless. like your love was the only love I would ever get and that I was lucky to deserve it. Lucky that you gave me the time of day.'_

Steven was on a roll now trying to fight back the tears he could feel coming on as he poured out all his emotions he had held back from the past year.

_'You wasted a year of my life. A year I would never be able to get back. So tell me Brendan, tell me why I would repeat that year all over again? Give me one good reason!'_ Ste shouted getting up close to Brendan's face.

Ste paused and stared hard at Brendan. Brendan froze - completely lost for words.

_'Yeah I thought so...Saying you love me doesn't mean anything! Its just words! And someone like you isn't capable of love. Not when you hate yourself so much. So like I said yeah? I need to get on with my life and you need to stop controlling me. You're like poison to me. You're DEATH. Maybe we're just not meant to be.'  
><em>With that Ste turned around and walked off without looking back.

Brendan was still frozen, his feet glued to the pavement. _'I love you. Simple reason. Why can't that be enough?' _Brendan whispered to himself, knowing Ste would be too far to hear him. The realisation that everything Steven said was right. The immense guilt of all the pain he had caused him - made someone Brendan saw as perfect so broken and paralysed just within repair. Steven was right. Maybe they're not meant to be.

But Brendan couldn't stop that other little voice in his head. Its just a maybe. So maybe there's still a chance. Just Maybe.

***THANKS FOR READING! PLEASE REVIEW! HOPEFULLY WILL BE UPDATING SOON! ALSO PLANNING TO DO A ONE-SHOT ABOUT WHEN STE WAS ABOUT TO LEAVE HOLLYOAKS WITH NOAH. GO CHECK IT OUT - WILL BE UP NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS!***


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